Posted by: N@S | 2004/02/02

AM I loosing my mind?

I broke up with my fiance a month ago. The problem is that I miss him so much. We were together for 3 years. And the past 2 months things have just been going badly for us. He was always willing to work things out. Then he started ignoring me completelt and he treated so badly. He made me feel like a piece of rubbish and he really brought me down. I was on Prozac for 3 weeks and then I met someone else, so I threw the tablets away. I like this new guy but I still miss my ex. I want to phone him and try work things out but then I think of all the times that he treated me so badly. I can't belive that he turned so ugly on me. What am I suppose to do about all these feelings?

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Our expert says:
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Dear N@s,
Maybe it's important to deal with the realities even more than the feelings. You describe a nice guy "always willing to work things out", which implies that there were things that needed sorting out, and then suddenly he stopped being so understanding and changed in his behaviour towards you. Nobody else can guess what that was all about --- you really needed to ask him, and to talk it through with him.
Personally, I would never prescribe prozac for a situation like that, as it is only intended to help a severe and lasting Depression, and not to solve interpersonal problems. If within a short space of time you were able to feel well enough to decide to throw the tablets away, it was not a Depression.
Don'tyou need to decide what you want from the man in your life ? And doesn't that necessarily involve calmly talking things through with them ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: N@S | 2004/02/03

Believer- you have had so much sense and I now see this in a whole new prespective. I know that it is gonna be hard to move on but I have to learn from it and move on. Maybe if we were meant to be 2getha then our paths will meet another day.

Reply to N@S
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/02/03

Forget about your ex - you miss him only because you tend to remember the good times and forgot about the bad times. He has not treated you well because he probably met someone else and he did not have the courage to break the engagement. So what is the alternative? To make your life hell!

You are better off without him. Continue meeting new friends - you will soon be over him for good.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: Believer | 2004/02/02

First of all-Why did you go off your medication? If it was prescribed for you you NEED to take it!!!!
As for the B/f, don't you know every relationship you get into was chosen by you as you have karma with that person? When a relationship ends it is because you have worked out your karma with that person-you have learned the lesson you needed to learn & now your soul is ready to move on. You never meet people by mistake-they come into your life for a reason. You're probably thinking -why would I have chosen to be treated like rubbish? Why would I have chosen to go through that pain? Easy-you needed to learn strength. You needed to learn about letting go-knowing that no matter how much you love someone they might just have to go away. Things happen to push you out of a relationship with a certain person when it is "time".
Whoever you are with now-theres some lesson to be learned there too...
Once you understand that everything happens for a reason & you walk the path you & your God have chosen-then there will be no reason to ever ask "why?" There will be no reason to be depressed, no reason to cry because you will know that no matter what happens, it was all meant to happen exactly that way.

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