Posted by: Anonym | 2008/11/06

Am I insecure?

I really don' t know what my husband sees in me. I have all these bad trades eg. I' m schizo. All my friends says he is attractive and even my daughters friend (matric) told her the other day " look this sexy guy"  and she replied " its my dad !" . People like him alot and are always so friendly with him and joking around and if it comes to me they are so serious. I just feel like I' m not really contributing much as I only see to it that the children do there homework and sometimes take them to the doctor when they are sick. My hubby provides in everything I ask even the children knows he never says no to me so would sometimes ask me to ask him if they want something. I' m so so scared he leaves me cause he could find somebody better than me easily somebody that could support him as he never discuss things with me that stresses him cause he always says he doesn' t want to stress me out. So with who do he speak if he doesn' t speak to me? I feel like I want to be more involved in whats going on in his live but he is a close book always so huppy go lucky. I don' t like work I like to deligate but do you think I should get a work to be more independant and doing something sothat he would think I' m doing something with my life? His parents eays I' m sitting on his head and his friends always says he does things for me that they won' t do for their wifes. How do I change not to be like this maybe then other people would think better of me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like you have an awfully low self-esteem and little self-confidence. I'm certain you're a far more pleasant and worthwhile person than you seem to think of yourself. Why not arrange to see a shrink / counsellor / therapist to work on this, and to learn more ways of handling stress ? That would benefit all of you. As you, in therapy, begin to think more of yourself, other people will think mroe of you too --- its hard for others to respect you, if you don't respect yourself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: WOW | 2008/11/06

maybe you should start by sitting him down and telling him exactly waht you are feeling, in a polite way andmake sure tha the understands that you appreciate everything that he does for you and for the children.let him knw that ur only concerned and would like to help him aswell in anyway u can coz u feel like ur not very much involved in his life and ud like to be more involved in waht he does at work and the things that goes though his mind, eg. if he gets stressed tell himt that you feel it too and ud like to be there for him if he would allow you.some people are just closed books and it doesnt mean that they are talking to other people also like that, i deal with my own issues and i hardly ever talk to anyone abou tmy problems but it is always nice to hear someone say that if i need to talk they are there for me....encourage him gently toopen up......and remeber that it will take time so ul need to be patient with him.

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