Posted by: Suzie | 2008/10/08

Am I Insane...

Ive been married for 4 months now,my husband is the most loving man on earth. the problem, he has too many female friends, I know he is not cheating on me but this is really starting to affect me. the fact that we talk about it almost every week now and still nothing happens actually there is always a new female friend every week, if it is not on facebook,it is some1 who wants to join the industry that he is in, but the only talk about the industry is the 1st sms after that its just other things. Im tired of looking like an insecure wife always asking him to cut ties with these women. 2 already think im a control freak. And honestly I dont blame them,He is the one who will send an sms at 11:30 saying goodnight, how are they suppose to even respect me, it doesnt matter even if he is at work at that time it is just wrong. Now there' s this 15 year old who was suppose to be looking up to him they cal each other " Daddy and My little gal"  he said its innocent but this gal woke me up this morning by an sms saying Good morning Daddy have a great day, I love you Daddy"  on Monday we spoke about avoiding things like these but it seems like he is not willing. How do I really get him to understand what this is doing to me without him feeling like I want to control his life. Im really tired of so many women chatting to my husband calling him intimate names that only I am suppos to call him. I really cant take it anymo. What am I suppose to do?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A truly loving husband would not be so involved with "female friends", let alone making new ones every week. It is not insecure of you to ask him to stop this flirting. If he was truly interested only in helping newcomers to his industry, he'd be communicating with just as many young men, too. No respectable man with entirely innocent interests sends messages from Daddy to My Little Gal, nor messages to say Goodnight at night. Insist that he join you in seeing a marriage counsellor --- you are not being over-controlling --- he is being under-controlling.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2008/10/09

My husband did exactly the same thing, I felt exactly the same way, like I was insecure and going insane. Its three years later and Im in the process of filing for divorce. I dont have proof of any affairs, but Im justtired of dealing with his ego issues, and attention seeking tactics, its exhausting. So need I say more? Theres a pattern, and all indications are that it wont change, its only gonna get worse than sms' s and facebook, it will get to face to face stage, and skin on skin. Good luck to you, Im just thankful I wont have to deal with it anymore..

Reply to Me
Posted by: madame x | 2008/10/08

My ex husband did the same... he eventually had an affair which led to our divorce.. now he regrets it all and wants a another chance!! what a mess. It' s an ego thing, all the attention they get from these women go to their heads and they feel on top of the world, not seeing the desaster that eventually comes their way.. and yours. You have my sympathy.

Reply to madame x
Posted by: SR | 2008/10/08

He' s actions speak for themselves and unfortunately you are not strong enough to lay down the law and be principled about the matter. You look on in awe and bewilderment as he adds another one to his fan club.

He has too many irons in the fire and quite frankly my dear its not your fire he has his irons in.

You need to lay down the law and be emphatic .... before you know it the space they share in his life is not going to be limited to facebook, email, sms but physical space i.e. he is going to be meeting up with them and socialising with them.

He needs to respect the sanctity of his marriage. Entertain friends only that you both share knowledge of and with whom both of you have history. Anyone else who invades the sanctity of your marriage will separate you and your husband and eventually tear it apart.

You own him and he owns you .... claim him or he will be lost to you

Reply to SR
Posted by: Klippies | 2008/10/08

DO NOT believe the story about work situations!!!!! it' s a lot of bull!!! TELL HIM TO CLOSE HIS FACE BOOK. The problem starts there!!!!

Reply to Klippies

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.