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Question
Posted by: just me | 2007/12/03

am i imagining things

my boyfriend and i have been together for exactly a year this month, we started off on a very high note, rebound type of realationship, he moved in with me 2 months into the relationship and i broke up with him a week ago cos i got tired of his drinking spress every weekend with friends, (he's 25 i'm 26), we never go out together so i couldn't take it anymore, we made up 2 days later but we living apart now, he is the type of guy that likes to talk about staff and like to work things out but now what bothers me is him telling me that he needs his sapce every now and then, he needs his "freedom", the sex appetite has detoriated a bit we not as intimate as we used to, i feel like he doesn't wanna be with me anymore even thou he says he loves me and wants our relationship to work out, he also says if i do not change the way i think at times he'll leave me cos i can be too demanding of his time sometimes, for e.g if i miss him i expext him to drop everything and come running to me, when i want something i want it now and not anytime later and that's what he can't stand abt me,, but i feel he has time for everything and everyone but me.. we agreed that he'd atleast spend one of his weekend days with me and again during the week since we do not stay together anymore, he was with me Sat nite and left yesterday and when i asked him to come back cos i wanna spend more time with him a huge argument errupted that he was with me Sat and he can't come back yesterday, after very long emotionally draining arguments he finally came back at 1 am after he had gone out drinking with friends,,, when is he gonna grow up? another thing that's bothering me is that for the past 10 months he didn't have a mobile phone till his freind gave him one and he said he'll keep it in his car just incase he gets stuck somewhere and needs to make a call, fair enough but when ever we together his phone is in his car and doesn't bring it along but when we not together he's got it with him so i am wondering if he could be hiding something, why is it that when he's with me he leaves it in the car and when he's not he's got it with him? should i stay with this guy? he's good to me a lot, he helps me out financially, helps me with groceries and staff and i feel emotionally safe with him bt i can't help being sceptical at times

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Rebound relationships are always risky, and this sounds to have been a bit hurried. He's a bit busy wanting his booze rather than his freedom. Why not see a relationship counsellor together ? He does sound rather immature, and could take years before he gets round to growing up. Yes, of course he COULD be hiding something. Try to p[ersuade him to join you in counselling, to improve things for both of you

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