Our expert says:
What a comprehensively horrible, selfish, big-headed and controlling creature she has been. Presumably a major personality disorder, and as she is unlikely to recognize that she needs help, probably unhelpable. It sounds as though your patience may have achieved as much of an accomodation with her as may be achievable.
His parents may have had much longer experience than you did, of how hopeless it was ( at least without expert guidance _ to try to control this selfish monster. They may have given up, rather than actively supporting her horrid behaviour, as you saw it.
But the main reason why it is adviseable for you to give up your anger is that it does you harm, and doesnt improve the situation at all, and doesn't bother those who you might want to bother --- you're not a nasty person. If some sort of family therapy were possible in some sessions between you and your husband with his parents,that might possibly help, so long as the Wicked Witch of the West can be excluded !
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