Posted by: Leon | 2005/12/11

Am I gay, please help.

Hi Im a 17 year old guy and I often feel attracted to other guys. See I get along with girls very well and I dont have any guy friends that Im close to. I never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before. I have seen straight and gay porn before and I enjoy the gay a lot more. I am not shure if I am gay or not but I do know I am not BI because I feel very different about being with a girl and being with a guy. Another thing is being gay is aganist my religion. So I want to know am I gay or is this just a phase.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert


essentially being gay means that you are sexually attracted to someone of the same sex as you. If you are sexually attracted to guys rather than girls - ie you find guys attractive not girls, and you have dreams or sexual fantasies about guys then this is what being gay is. Whilst you may initially feel that your sexuality is in direct opposition to your religion this is something you need to address over time and give some thought to. Many gay people are also religious and their faith is very important to them. You may find that being gay is not against your religion but against what some religious people think or say - there is a big difference.

What is important to remember is that whoever you are does not change your value as a person.

For further info post a question to our gay, lesbian and bisexual expert here at Health24.

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Dan Dan The Golo Man | 2006/01/22

Hey, im going through the exact same thing, its really hard, and where the same age too! I decided not to long ago to tell a friend, who, was more then helpful, really supportive, but i only told her i was bi, and i dunno if i am gay, or bi. And at time i kinda get a bit disgusted by the thought that i could be gay, but thats only because ive heard such slander against homosexuals. Bloody Propoganda. SO, im on my way to maybe just being gay, and if i turn straight so be it. Ive decided that life is seriously to short. And i dont really care what people say, its how i feel. Its my life. I know its over-whelming, and it REALLY hard to admit to yourself, my parents dont even know! well not yet, im tellling them soon, hopefully they'll love me all the same- thats the worst part. Once thats over, i reckon ill be openly gay, and not bi. And if one night i get drunk and sleep with a chick, then so be it. lol Come on lifes too short. Have FUN!! (oh and me being the golo man is cause i work at a store called golo lol...)

Reply to Dan Dan The Golo Man
Posted by: G-Dad | 2005/12/14

This feeling you get could be part of your sexuality waking up, this happen to most people and some exprement as well, but reach a stage where they meet a good girl and grow up.
You might find other boys or men atractive during the prosess of your sexual feelings waking up because you are a boy and it is easier to relate to other boys or men.
Once you had sex with a girl and still only get turned on by boys then I think you know the answer.

Reply to G-Dad
Posted by: Leon | 2005/12/13

Thanks Rose, but I would like to hear the experts advice and see what he thinks. As for how I feel, I feel like Im a freak, mabey because I never meet a gay guy before. I have a lez, who recently went stright again, but thats as close as I have gotten to gay people. Actually I think I have neighbors who live near my summer house, but they dont it, but I think they.

Reply to Leon
Posted by: rose-in-the-rain | 2005/12/13

hey hun.
fair enough , if you dont want to tell ne body how you feel thats up to you , its hard to look for answers from somebody else if you dont know the answes yourself .
maybe it is just a phase , alot of people do go though an identy confusion phase , and if it isnt , thats ok.
self acceptance is a diffacult process , as is self discovery , people undereseimate how much bieng confused about your idenity can mess u up .
If it turns out that u are gay , thats no reson to hate urself , we are all attaracted to diffrent types of people. i find blonde -gothic girls really beautifal . My bf is a rock-dude , ive always had a thing about punkz lol!
i know the cotholoc chruch does not condone homosexuatiy -but surly , if the really is a god, he will love everyone , uncondinally regadless ?. ( im wiccan ..... wiccans celabrate sexauitly in all its forms)
anyways , hun , Take care, rose-in-the-rain

Reply to rose-in-the-rain
Posted by: Leon | 2005/12/12

Thing is Id rather no one know about this but Im sick even about the idea. I always thought this but for about the past 4 months ive been wanting an answer and the harder I look the more digusted I am. If I say that Im gay I start to hate myself but if I say Im not I feel like Im lieing to myself. As for my religion Im catholic. Sometimes I say its just a phase, like even now Im shaking. One thing Ive noticed I find guys with facial hair attractive and I usually wont notice a girl unless someone tells me.

Reply to Leon
Posted by: rose-in-the-rain | 2005/12/12

hey hun
my advice is to give urself time.
i went though simaler things .... and i know how u must be feeling. it really screwed me up, having no sence of who i was.
just let things run thier corse and see what happens .
you didnt atually say what religon you are .... but i agree with jill ...dont worry about that ....... if there really is a god...... all humans will be loved the same , regadless of sexual prefreance . so dont feel gulity and know that there is nothing wrog with feeling like you are . your gonna be ok, dude, just hold on and confusion will be replaced by clarity .
do you have any close friends you could talk to about this?
what helped me the most was having friends with simaler expriances that i could chat to
best of luck hun.
love and peace rose-in-the-rain

Reply to rose-in-the-rain
Posted by: Jill | 2005/12/12

That'a a big question. And really you're the only one that can answer that. I would say that you should experiment a bit, to see. And if you like being with guys a lot more then you enjoy being with girls, there's a good chance that you might be. but i wouldn't worry about it being against your religion. You are who you are, and you can't change that. Just remember that it's not a curse, it's who you are, and don't let anyone tell you that it's wrong. = )

Reply to Jill

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