Our expert says:
I wrote such a nice answer here, but programming errors caused it to be lost in cyberspace, and its hard for me to recall what I said !
Its not clear to me what is going on here - does he actually have an ongoing physical . emotional relationship with his ex ( and then, lying about it, this would be a sinister sign with regard to your relationship with him ) - or does he have contacts with her as he would HAVE to have, to maintain his relationship with his child ( as a 4-year-old can't do this on its own ) - and could you perhaps be over-reacting, and he doesn't want to tell you about these much more reasonable contacts, for fear of this over-reaction ?
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