Our expert says:
He seems to have a pathetically limited idea of what therapy is about. He needs to join you in proper mnariage counselling ( maybe with a male counsellor, so he cant use his usual excuse that a woman would automatically be on your side ) because HE has cheated and caused the problem ( not you ) and if you are not both part of the solution, there will be no solution. He shouldn't be "over it" so easily. He;s the one who gave you something that needs to be gotten over ! His cheating proved to you that his "conscience" and his "vow" don't mean much.
You are NOT expecting too much of yhim --- HE is expecting way too little of himself.
If he really wont work with you in counselling, recosider whether he is committed enough to this marriage for it to be worth your while to stick around within it
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