Posted by: Sad Mommy | 2008/09/11

Am I? Do I?

I need advise please.

My 10 year old daughter has been lying and stealing from her school and I only found out about it at her hearing when they were deciding on whether to expel her or not.

It was then brought up in this meeting that there apparently is an open case file for child abuse brought against me and my husband from 2006 from the daycare she used to attend. Now I prove all " findings as unfounded"  and the fact that I was never contacted by social services or the police, its clear they found it unfounded as well.

In this meeting, I told them I was in process of looking at getting my daughter to a counselor as I could see no reason for her sudden behavior changes and stealing.

They told me straight out (after only knowing me for less than 10 minutes) that I am the one who needs counseling and not her and that I am now under investigation for all my kids.

The letter claiming the abuse from the school claimed my husband was cruel and vicious. They accused us of not loving her. This is all slander, can I legally do something about this?

What do I do to help my child? There is no question to my love for my children.

Please tell me where to turn for legal help as well as social services and taking care of my kids.

I cant lose my babies, I am a good mother.

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Our expert says:
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Legal help seems to be the essential first step. Depending on your resources ( I have no idea where you are ) try a good local lawyer, who could at least outline your options in a couple of sessions, or check if there's an accessable legal aid clinic at your nearest Law School / University. Assuming that nothing untoward is going on at home, the procedures here sound outrageous, bereft of natural justice and not in the best interests of you or the children. If the earlier matter was dismissed by the police because they found no basis to the complaint, they should at least have formally notified you of that, so you had a note of being cleared, rather than an allegation left dangling. And how can they be contemplating expelling a child without informing you at a much earlier date ? And if they believe the child is somehow being disturbed by abuse, who on earth would they even think of expelling the child victim ?
It also makes sense to arrange for your child to see a counsellor, anyway ; and indeed maybe you would also benefit from some such support at this time. I wonder whether there would be any value in contacting social services yourself to ask them to look into this and advise you ? Maybe your lawyer could advise on that.
And do return to the fuorum and let us know how things turn out.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sad Mommy | 2008/09/11

Thank you.

My daughter was abused as a baby by her real dad. I left him and took her away because of that. She has no memory of him or the abuse. My husband adopted her when we married and helped me fight to protect her from my ex.

I will try and get a lawyer, finances are tough as for most south africans right now, but maybe someone can help me.

As for contacting social services, all my experiences with them have been bad to worse. I called them to help me protect my daughter -it took them 9 months to finally do anything. Then the incident in 2006 that I was never informed about and now the threats to me and my babies this week. How can anyone trust these people to help you?

Thanks again, I appreciate the ear and shoulder.

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