Posted by: Unsure & confused | 2005/11/27

Am I Bi-sexual?

Hi, I am a happily married woman, I really enjoy making love to my husband but I also am very turned on by the thought of women making love to women. I do not have any experience in this area, except for erotic literature & would probably die a thousand deaths if I were ever propositioned by another women. I have a few aquaintances that are lesbians & often find myself fantasizing about what they get up to behind closed doors!!! I often fantasize about myself with some of my straight friends too! Where does this leave me or what does this make me? Appreciating your response in advance.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Unsure and Confused and welcome to this forum -

No-one is 100% straight or 100% gay - we're all located somewhere on a continuum between those two extremes. Somewhere in the middle is an area of bisexuality, which refers to an individual being sexually and emotionally attracted to both sexes. Note that bisexuality is not just about physical attraction.

Your fantasies are not unusual and you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about them - many straight people fantasise or are curious about the same sex. Don't try to pin a label to yourself - straight or bisexual, it shouldn’t really matter to you at this point.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Kris | 2005/11/29

So will i be correct in saying, the line between being bi and straight is your actions.

Does that mean its okay having fantasies abt having sex with the same sex bt acting on those fantasies changes the whole thing. Then if that's the case, i wonder, am i bi? Why is life sometimes so complicated?

Reply to Kris
Posted by: bi-guy | 2005/11/29

You may be bi-sexual. Just because you fantasize about it doesn't mean that you have to go out and make it happen either. For the most part I'm straight. If I'm ever lucky enough to find the woman of my dreams and fall in love again I'll probably never have another bi experience. I don't crave bi-sex. I long for finding true love with a woman. That's my ultimate fantasy. Although, I do entertain the thought of having sex with men and I do masturbate to the fantasy but that doesn't mean that I want to go and find it either. If you should ever get the chance to be with a woman that your attracted to and you decide to go for it guess what? That makes you bi-sexual if you should happen to enjoy the experience. Like you said, you might want to die a thousand deaths if the opportunity came up and if that's actually how you feel then you not bi-sexual. You simply enjoy the fantasy. It turns you on that's all. If it turns you on it turns you on. Enjoy it. IT doesn't mean you have to act on it.

Reply to bi-guy
Posted by: Kris | 2005/11/28

Hi Unsure

I can relate to ur problem. I'm also interested in the same sex. To me it went as sometimes i dont enjoy sex with my bf, i haven't even cum 4 a long time. I enjoy mustabating more becuase all my fantasies are about having sex with other women. Does this make me bi too. or is it ejoying one's sexuality. Hope u'll get an answer to ur question as i feel we're on the same boat. And maybe ur answer will answer some of mine. Good luck...

Reply to Kris
Posted by: anon | 2005/11/28

I have the same problem,i enjoy sex with my man but i often catch myself looking at other women too.i dont think im bi,as i dont want to have a relationship with women,but why do i look at other women than men in the street.i too am confused

Reply to anon
Posted by: Nikki | 2005/11/28

Hi unsure

I think you will know if it works for you if you try it.
One can wonder for life about something or try it and see how it works. Just remember the first time may not be what you expected because of nerves and perhaps a "guilt" feeling.

Over and above it doesnt necessary make you bi and if it does, so what? Life is a journey, enjoy the ride or choose to stay at home.

Good luck ;)

Reply to Nikki
Posted by: SAME BOAT | 2005/11/28

Hi there , i am involved with a female at the point in time , she is however the first women i slept with , i can tell you one thing though it is much more passionate because a women knows a womens body. I am bi but the female partner i have is my best friend & we going good hey. We both dated guys before slept with them as well , but the differece is awesome , i now recently catch myself looking at other women as well , hope this will help you a little

Reply to SAME BOAT
Posted by: jim | 2005/11/28

lots of people fantcises about the same sex u might be bi

Reply to jim

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