Our expert says:
Yes, sad how often the people who insist that they will sort it all out themselves, never do. whoever told you that it was your duty to 'sacrifice" and "be patient" with someone doing what he's doing, was an idiot. You owe him no such duty. What about his duties towards you ?
If you're paying the bond and so many of the other expenses, it makes sense for him to listen when you ask him to mov out --- he's not providing that home, you are. I don't believe in rushing to forgive someone who is not repentant, either, escept in the sense of letting go of the burden of anger against the unrepentant one, and no longer tying yourself down with bonds of bitterness to them.
get legal advice on the extent to which you can require him to move out, and on the implications of a legal separation. And consider counselling for yourself --- you desrve it, and the availability thereby of more detailed and personalized advice on the parts of the ongonin problem, and also of support and encouragement.
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