Our expert says:
It was wise to discuss the whole situation with your child. But no man who has rejected the child at birth and through her childhood, and who has been too lazy to get a job, if sit to suddenly become a father when it simply takes his fancy, so it doesn't sound like a good idea for her to go and stay with him. If she wants to, maybe you can think of allowing him to visit her at your home.
You are not at all being selfish, and your reaction to this suddent idea of his is entirely natural and understandable
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