Posted by: Just Me | 2007/05/17

Am I being petty

My bf and I have been together for about 2 years and I can count on one hand how many he has taken me somewhere. In April we moved in together and I told him that we need to spend time together. He told me that I should be patient and that he first wants to finish fixing the house and then he will have time to take me out, but by that time there wont be any money left. I've been very stressed and I just needed a time out, instead we had a screaming match. He didnt even say happy mothers day and I was working the entire day at home. When I try to talk to him he is either watching tv or to busy with something else. Last night I tried to talk to him and he just got up and walked out of the room then I went to bed. He doesnt notice that I'm around. On Saturday we are invited to his friends wedding where he is best man. I said that I wouldnt go because I would have to go alone whilst he is with the wedding party, and I dont know anybody that will be there. Sunday he has plans so we wont be spending time together. I am so unhappy and I cant talk to him about it. I sometimes wish that something could happen and that would be a reason for us to go our seperate ways. He always tells me that I should be patient but I have been for 2 years. Instead of me getting happy I feel more sad everyday and just want everything to end.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If only all the petty people who ARE so frequently petty, would ask this question ! SOunds like this guy is just too comfortable with the convenienc of having you round, and feel no real need to attend to you. Nothing more has to happen for you to decide to go your own way, if that is what you wish to do. Is he genuinely still working on important aspects of fixing up the house, or has that just become an excuse ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: going through the same | 2007/05/17


im in the same boat. my fiance hasnt taken me out not even for a movie in a year!!! i feel so neglected. if i dont say lets go do something he just doesnt do anything. i think that he think now that we have a family he doesnt need to do special things to keep me happy. weve been together for 3 years now. how many kids do you have. o and i didnt even get anything for mothers day...

Reply to going through the same
Posted by: Joy | 2007/05/17

What is it that you are truly upset about? This man is faithful to you as far as i can see, he sleeps next to you every night, takes care of you and wants the home to be perfect and beautiful for both of your benefit. I'm sure your man doesnt want to fix that house up so that he can end up losing you and living there on his own. Men are funny in the sense that they usually focus on one task at hand and especially when they excel in it, cannot focus or divide their attention to anything else. They are not like us that can sit and think about work, kids, cleaning and what am i gonna wear to the wedding, all at the same time. Sit him down and calmly discuss with him what it is you most desire - dont scream or lose your temper, tell him exactly whats on your mind. Say how neglected you've been feeling and how he can make it better for you. I realize what your'e going through - after my bfriend and i were dating for a year and a half we also moved in together and he was working on a music project - but i was so needy and clingy, thinking wedding bells and babies (not being engaged), that my needs came ahead of his as far as i was concerned and i became impatient and resentful and we split! We're back together now, and things are better than ever! but lastnite i told him i realize what we've missed out on, and how, if i was a little more understanding things couldve been so different today. I didnt want to see things from his point of veiw. Ultimately i'm sorta glad we split cause now he totally gets why i left, but we have second might not! and trust me, finding a good man - a man that you can at least trust and is faithful to just you, is hard to find. I have my second chance..and you might not have that again with him. Good luck!

Reply to Joy
Posted by: 2beme | 2007/05/17

Hi just me<br>I dont think you are being petty at all. I have a few suggestions - use them or lose them?? ( i dont mean to sound harsh)<br>You are allowing him to get away with 2much.<br>What happens if you take matters into your own hands and book a table at a restaurant and invite him formally - you know going back to dating.<br>Has he always been like this - which means if you think you are going to change him you are wrong. And this means you knew he was like this from the beginning.<br>I know someone whose husband is excatly the same and she decided well if i cant change him i am going to enjoy myu life and she went to see friends when she could. What i am saying that although you want to spend time with him do not make an obsession out of it and it might come right?<br>You are not married yet so you can pull out if you want?<br>If you love him then "make a plan""<br>Good luck<br>

Reply to 2beme

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