Posted by: Clean &  Tidy | 2008/08/04

Am I being over the top with this?

My boyfriend and I have been together a little less than a year.
He' s always been immaculate.
I find myself having to remind him to brush his teeth, and ask him if he' s bathed.
I HATE this because I dont wanna sound like his mother but yesterday morning he had a shower, then he went to work, he came home, we had sex, then we went to movies, went to bed and this morning he puts on the same shirt and says dont worry bout leaving in your bath water I' ll bath when I get home.

Well I almost flipped, in fact I did.. I can' t understand this situation.
Am I being over the top?? He says he' s bathing once a day and will shower when he gets home.
I have to sleep next to him, share the same roll on with him and kiss him goodbye and Im totally grossed out.
I dont expect him to shower twice a day but come on??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm. Sounds like the Immaculate Deception ! Maria's answer is excellent --- (a) think about why he may have changed ( perhaps once you were living together he didn't feel he needed to try so hard ? ) ; (b) encourage him by praising him for how much sexier he is after bathiong; and (c) a tactful, low-key discussion of how you find the change a bit puzzling, and much prefer his earlier habits.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Curious | 2008/08/04

Has his behaviour changed in any other way? I hate to say it but drug addicts start to forget about hygiene. Don' t think that they are all spaced out all the time, they are not. An addict can act and function normally (to an extent) and it is not always obvious that they are high. If his personality has changed, he is spending way too much money and his hygiene has gone to hell he may well be on cocaine or something similar.
I am only saying this because I lived with an addict for over a year, couldn' t figure out why he had changed so much and then found out the hard way.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: Maria | 2008/08/04

You say he has always been immaculate... why did it change? I don' t think you' re being over the top. Perhaps you should make a point of telling him how nice he smells when he has had a shower, and get your own roll on. If things don' t improve, sit him down and gently tell him that you would appreciate it if he paid more attention to hygiene. Good luck!

Reply to Maria

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