Posted by: Pshycopath | 2008/07/09

Am I a crazy person?!?!

I have an embarrasing secret and I wish I could stop!!! I develop an obsession with my boyfriends ex girlfriend. Not just the current bf, but every single time I date a guy I am obsessed! Just the current guy's - and we are talking about engagement - ex girlfriend is torturing me in my mind. We have been together for 3 years now, and I can't stop myself from asking questions about her, the way she used to be like, her personality, EVERYTHING about her!! I am quite the internet fundi, and I'm forever searching to find something about her. I want to dress like her and I want to be her. She is so beautiful to me and when I look in the mirror I see an ugly and CRAZY cow. I know that I'm not ugly - I used to be a model. But to me Im the most ugliest girl in the world compared to her. I went as far as hacking into her best friends email account to find info on her - but couldnt find anything. I have a picture or 2 of her, and find myself staring at it, puting photo's of myself next to it and even comparing whether her and my bf looked better together than what me and him do. I don't know how to quit, i wish i could because its ruining everything!!! The thing that makes me even more obsessed with her is the fact that she desperately wants my boyfriend back. If she sees him somewhere she deliberately pushes me away to speak to him alone. I feel this rage against her, and I would love to kill her. PLEASE YOU HAVE TO HELP ME GAIN CONTROL OF MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Our expert says:
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Hmph ! I keep hearing from women bothered because they think their BF is obsessed with his ex, but its less common for the current gf to bother about his ex's. Basically, it sounds as though you may be troubled by low self-esteem, so that you feel driven to compare yourself to his ex's, wonderign if you're good enough, if she was better in some way, if you need to be more like her, etc. Rather se a CBT therapist and learn to respect and love yourself, and realize that none of the previous women were as great as you are --- otherwise they wouldn't be an ex while you are his here and now GF !

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