Our expert says:
She sounds like a normal 3-year-old. But there are better and more effective ways of maintaining discipline than giving hidings. You are also teaching her that violence is an acceptable way of getting what you want.
Maria's suggestions are sensible and practical.
As she says, emphasize praising and rewarding her for her good behaviour, so she behaves because she understands why good behaviour is good, and finds it rewarding.
And as Anon says, emphasize not just that spitting itself is always unacceptable, but that it may be understandable that she feels angry in some situations, but that she should express such anger calmly and verbally, rather than physically.
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