Posted by: me | 2007/12/12

Also going on holiday - fear's

I read the lady's problem regarding Amsterdam and nudity. I have the same fears , exept mine is about my bf and I going on holiday to Cape Town. How do I just calmly accept gorgeous women in binikis on the beach without feeling terribly jealous? Also , going out at night , women do tend to wear as little as possible. Is there any advice to help me keep calm. He has never purposly ( spelling?) stared at any women while I'm with him , but I know that a man does definately notice an attrative woman , especially on the beaches and at nightclubs. Please give me some advice so that I can be calm and enjoy our holiday.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

See a counsellor to deal with your low self-esteem and lack of appreciation for your own beauty ( which your bf apparently appreciates far more than you do ). There will always be pretty girls in bikinis somewhere, but many men don't find the displays more appealing than the real three-dimentional woman they have chosen to be with.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2007/12/12

Thanks you all!! I will be positive and make sure it's a great holiday. Your advice surely does make me feel a bit more confident.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Britty | 2007/12/12

He chose you from all those "other women". So treat yourself to a new hairdo, pedicure, holiday clothes and lingerie for bf and go and have a wonderful holiday - your boyfriend will have eyes only for you. Take care.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: anon | 2007/12/12

I think it begins with yourself, you need to feel happy in your own skin. Only you can do that, love and accept yourself exactly how you are, warts and all. You need to be your own best friend, and be very gentle with yourself. You need to tell yourself each day (positive affirmations) that "I am beautiful" "I am a loving person" etc. you will only push your bf and anyone else in your life further away by your insecurities and self loathing.

There will always be beautiful bodies on the beach in bikinis and better looking, slimmer people around, but its your attitude and perception of it all that needs to change. You can't change the world, only yourself.

Good luck and go and enjoy your holiday. Otherwise you will end up being miserable all the time. Surely you deserve to enjoy and have a great time, you owe it to yourself!!

Reply to anon
Posted by: Maria | 2007/12/12

So maybe he notices other women... but he is with YOU not with any of them. Why do you think that is? My guess would be that he chose you above others for very good reasons.

Reply to Maria

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