Our expert says:
Maybe you're not expecting too much, though if you say you don't actually remember what went sour, it's hard for you ( or I ) to assess whether you're expecting too much, or whether he's over-reacting or responding understandably to whatever happened. Assess this in perspective --- an Excellent Friday, a nice peaceful weekend, and a bad ending to it. Shouldn't the question you ask at the end of your posting, really be asked of him ? And maybe this recent set of episodes have been awfully stressful for him, too, and maybe i'd be worth planning not only a further apology but something for him, relaxing and pleasant ? Make it up to him, and then some. And maybe not only will that process be pleasant for you, oo, but concentrating on him and his feelings, may bring you relief from some of your own ?
And was alcohol involved in the "nasty character" episode and the amnesia for it ? If so, what heppended to the resolve to cut the alcohol out of it ?
As you say ( and Chelle picks up, well ) you tend to push loving people away, maybe for several reasons, not feeling sure that you deserve them, to test them and force them to prove themselves ( how often must they prove themselves ? ) and to leave yourself free and feeling justified to be more self-destructive again ?
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