Posted by: Loly | 2013/01/15

alienation of affection

My husband''s affair produced a child and the woman has decided to send me harassing emails about how rubbish &  a joke I am &  has told me to mind my own business coz I request that the baby have a paternity test, objected to have the baby on my husband’ s medical aid and use his surname, which I believe as his wife, I was entitled to demand. She confirmed that she &  my husband started having an affair since 2003. She is lawyer and she is obviously not really thinking coz she is frustrated coz having the baby didn’ t result in quick divorce and a happy ever after with my soon to be ex &  her expectations have not been met. Can I use the emails to sue her? She is a lawyer  can I also use the emails as evidence to get her struck of the bar? I have only responded to her once with a polite answer that she was obviously disappointed that I was not reacting to her.

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Posted by: J. | 2013/01/17

Get her struck off the bar for what exactly? Immoral behaviour? If it was so simple, we would have no more lawyers left.

If you have evidence, you might succeed in the AOA case, but remember, you have to prove that she is DIRECTLY responsible for your marriage problems. That is difficult to prove, because in all honestly, if there was an affair, I would guess that there were other problems.

You dont have the legal right to demand the paternity test, your husband can though. Again, you cannot demand that the baby not take his name, not even your husband can do that, she can register the baby on his name regardless if he consents or not. You can of course persuade your husband to not put the baby on medical aid, but again, its his decision.

This is a toughy, an affair of 10 years. Damn, obviously serious emotions are involved because generally affairs never last long.

I cannot imagine how betrayed you must feel, I would be angry too. I can think that lashing out might make you feel better temporarily, but an AOA case is drawn out, expensive and emotionally taxing. And the reward? The highest pay out ever in South Africa was R75000 and that was in a case where the woman (whose husband had an affair) suffered huge financial losses due to the affair - she had a business that suffered from him not being there.

I dont know what you want from this, but I hope this helps to clear a few things up.

Reply to J.
Posted by: Anon | 2013/01/15

Do not react to her, except to ask her to refrain from contacting you. If she continues to do so, make a print and obtain a protection order against her.

Your husband has the right to ask for a paternity test, however he may refuse that right and acknowledge the child to be his. This is usually evidenced by him paying maintenance towards the child / covering medical costs etc.

If you husband refuses to ask for paternity, then you may not have any rights to demand for paternity etc.

Remember the point is not to get back at her, or get her struck off the bar. The point is for you to be happy and free of these burdens. Protect yourself, and if that does not work use the courts to get the protection you need.

Reply to Anon

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