Posted by: Mrs W | 2005/12/01


My husband has a drinking problem. He has enjoyed his drinks all his life. In the 4 years I have been married to him he has double scotches (at least 4 or 5 a night), 2 glasses of wine at lunch, he can easily finish a bottle of wine on his own in an afternoon. If he has time on his hand he drinks all afternoon while watching TV. Some evenings when I get home I can smell it on him. He gets very uptight if I approach the subject. If he agreed to stop, what can I give him to help him deal with the anxiety? I am pro natural remedies, but will try something else if necessary. Thank you.

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Our expert says:
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He is uptight because he knopws it is wrong, and unhealthy, and that you're right, but he doesn't rally want to stop. There is no natural remedy whatever for help alcoholism. And remember, alcohol itself is a "natural" remedy, and look at the problems it causes ! As Tango says, speak with AA and their spouses group.
NOTHING helps until the individual admits to themselves and to others that they DO have a problem with alcohol and need to stop drinking --- then with AA, acamprosate, and other interventions, there is a chance of them stopping.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Valkyrie | 2005/12/01

My husband was an alcoholic, drug addicted and smoked dagga. I tried everything - begging - crying - fighting- medical treatment - family support. Until one day we sat down and all I asked him was whether was interessted in getting help. He looked at me and calmly said "If I had to chose between my liquir and you - then you can go" Well that solved my problem. So what ever you do make sure that help is what he wants.

Good luck I'll be thinking of need all the support you can get.

Reply to Valkyrie
Posted by: ~Wings~ | 2005/12/01

Just a warning with regards to ASP's advice.
I understand you're trying to help, but do you realise that if someone takes antibuze and drinks they CAN DIE!
They can have a heart attack aswell.

Seeing as this is such an early stage, this man first needs to admit he has a problem you can't expect him to take antibuze if he hasn't made a psychological and physical commitment to stopping drinking.

Start with yourself Mrs W - you're just as sick as the alcoholic, so heal yourself and get to those meetings, your husband will hopefully find his way to sobriety!


Reply to ~Wings~
Posted by: ASP | 2005/12/01


The first step would be for him to admit that he has a problem with alcohol.

As soon as this realizes he can go and see a GP and get a prescription for some anta-buse, some general vitamins and something to help with the anxiety like Ativan or the like...

I would also reccomend attending regular AA meetings and plenty of support, love and understanding from you and the rest of the family members!

But in the end the only place to start is with him...

I have been in this mess before and have been dry now for over 6 months...

Reply to ASP
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/01

Like I said in a previous posting it is now 10 years since I hung up my glass. Was not easy and had to admit I was an alcoholic, after that everything started to fall into place. I was in Elim in Kempton. There are some strategies that are used by counselors to help someone to admit to the addiction, but it's been too long since I was involved - some other strategies may have been developed

~Wings~ is right Al Anon is a good starting point and it is a lifelong thing. I must say I enjoy the braai more than ever because when the other guys drink, I chat up their partners (wink) - however wrong in talking about a recovering alcholic. I am retired and would not want to ever go back to "work" again.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: ~Wings~ | 2005/12/01

Jules and Tango are absolutely right, and coming from someone who almost married an alcoholic I can tell you that Al Anon (for the friends and family of alcoholics) brings much support and encouragement.
AA is for the addicts themselves.
Unfortunately there is NO cure for addiction, alcohol is just the substance being abused, your husband could substitute that addiction for food, drugs, anything really.
You need to realise that this is a life long illness like diabetes or cancer, he can't just give up, but with the support of AA, and abstinance, he can learn to live life as a recovering alcoholic. contact Al Anon for more info.
Best wishes!

Reply to ~Wings~
Posted by: Jules | 2005/12/01

Mrs W

I am so sorry to hear about your'e problem. Your'e husband must admit he's got a problem to work on it. If he is in denail then it is going to be very hard for you to convince him otherwise. I suggests you phone AA they work with the famliies as well and will give you the right advise. Good luck

Reply to Jules
Posted by: Tango | 2005/12/01

Have you tried to talk to someone from the AA? They have a group for spouses of alcoholics and you can get some good support there firstly for yourself and you can hear what they say about all the questions you may have. Good luck!

Reply to Tango

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