Our expert says:
The problem here isnt an aggressive child, but a wildly ignorant and aggressive teacher !
I'm troubled by the ideological content here - the sense that a teacher is intent on imposing her opinion of how kids MUST be, on some otherwise wholesome kids who don't happen to be that way.
Being aggressive towards and hurting others, yes, bad idea, and needing to be discouraged. But should all kids share everything ? That's not a natural human trait, and varies much more than this driven teach seems to assume. And who on earth shouldn't a child prefer having one other child as a particular friend, rather than "the group". This, too, is not such a natural human tendency that someone should try to push the child to being otherwise. Teachers should be very careful not to try to force kids into behaving in one particular way, just because they ( with no specific skills or knowledge in this field ) feel convinced that it should be thus.
And she thinks there's something wrong because he makes noises as he plays ? Is she psychotic ? It sounds to me far more as though this nutty teacher needs evaluation by a shrink, than does your child.
Seriously, if she really finds these a basis for concern about a child, she is badly trained or seriously misinformed and has bizarre priorities.
And if she punishes him for such normal behaviour she is a significant risk to the children in her care. Maybe one should discuss it with the headmistress / whoever is in charge.
And tell them id this disturbed woman EVER hits your child again, you will lay criminal charges against her. Similarly, she should be preventing the other children from being aggressive towards him in the ways he describes, rather than punishing the bullied child who responds in self-protective mode.
I heartily agree with Maria. This teacher is badly trained and over-confident / under-competent. And teachers seem far too eager to refer kids to mental helth professionals for inadequate reasons.
I also like her idea of working with your child to role-play alternative ways for him to respond when those specific kids tease him. And help him to realize that by NOT reacting fiercely, he's more likely to frustrate them, as they deserve to be frustrated.
That this stupid teacher then again pathologises his response when he gracefully withdraws, and insists that it "makes him sad" is further evidence of how addled she is.
And of course, that you ever smack him for misbehaving is a bad idea- it is useless at developing true discipline, and teaches that using violence is OK.
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