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Question
Posted by: Dee-Dee | 2005/11/22

Aggression

Hi,
My boyfriend calls himself an extremist as he overeacts on everything and I litteraly mean everything. He said that it scares him sometime. He tends to be extremely aggresive in his behaviour. Whenever a topic comes up were we could disagree on I rather just keep quiet as it always ends up in a huge fight where he hits or break something. I'm getting frustrated because there are a lot of things that I can't share with him because of the way he reacts. I've pointed it out to him which ended in another fight were he actually broke the steering wheel of my car. What can I do to help him to get rid of this agrression as it seems to be happening more frequently lately? I do understand that he might be under a lot of stress and I try to support him. Please could you give me advise on how to help him? I know that he is a good person. I also know that he won't go and see someone for help.
Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like he has a significan problem with aggression and with anger management. And from the example you give, he may have the potential to be dangerous and harmful. Many of us are under severe stress, but we don't react in the way he does. But this can be such a diffuclt sort of problem to help, even for a fully trained shrink, I really don't know what advice we could give you to try to help him on your own. Your best best would be to work on persuading him, in his quiet periods to see a psychologist or good local psychiatrist, for a proper assessment and discussion of his treatment options. He must surely recognize that this problem, if left untreated could cause him sevre problems with this or any other relationship, with work, friendships and potentially problems with the law.

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