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Question
Posted by: S_ly | 2007/05/03

Again girlfriend

I have read my mail and don't under stand it my self? Okay, Me and my girlfriends relationships is on going for 4 and a half years, the first time a asked her to marry me and she said yes and that was after 2 and a half years, she then started singing with this guy and started getting feeling for him, this guy is married and i told her that she is busy with something wrong, she said i'm keeping her away from her dreams to become a prof singer and in a way i did in the worry of loosing her. I gave everything to let go so that she can become what she wanted...... in fact she said she's not in love with me anymore and would like to move on... i said it fine if that is what she wanted. And asked her to always thing twice and do not do anything stupid. she said this other guy is an asshole and would never do something with him...and her reason was that he is married! we went apart, i met a girl and became friends, and after a while more than friends, it became a sexuals relationship and i told her i feel that im still inlove with my ex and dont want to continue giving her fals hope. 3 weeks after that my ex phones me stating that she never missed me more and want to get back togher for the 3time, she was dead sure this time and really loves me!! we where ingagded 3 time before everytime she broke it of and the last time asked me and then broke it of again. weve been togher for 6 months ups and downs but so much better, it feels she has grown a bit and really know what she wants now but only now she told me after me asking that she had a one night stand with this guy while his whife and 2 kids where on hioliday? Now my problm is, that if his marridge did not meen anything to her on that stage what wil mine mean to her? and am i second price? because she said he promised her a lot of things and gave her the idea of when he's devorced they wil be together, but she said she relized that ,thats not what she want, she wants me?? isn it just the idea of me always being there and not the fact that she wants me? that she s just use to me?
I really love her but dont want to be in a relastionship thats not going to last because of feeling and not fact, i wanne marry once not more, and i never cheated on my girlfriend, if any girl showed intrest i will and always have told her its not gonne happen, I am involved, when ever somethings wrong with my girlfriend even the time we were unstable and appart i've been there for her..... it feels tome like i werent good enought then thats why she went out to look for something better, didnt get it and decided i'm second best so why not? please i dont want to loose her but dont want history to repeat it self!! i really gave eveything for her and will again if i just now what to do??? I haver asked her if i'm second price and she said its not like that it's more complicated than that!! I have always distrusted any girl and almost hated a girl or guy that messes around with married people?? and now it's the one that i love with all my heart and would anything to keep her happy, her pearents plit up because of a woman that had a sexual relation ship with her dad, my girlfriend was the one that descovered it and told her mom, so why do excactly what she hates in her dad?

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Our expert says:
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I see no reason for you to trust a woman who has been repeatedly untrustworthy and unfaithful, and who keeps changing her mind, regardless of how much she has hurt you each time. You have been, and are being, used, by a manipulative and uncaring person. I like CP Mom's phrase, you're her Mr Right-now, not her Mr Right

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Our users say:
Posted by: CP MOM | 2007/05/03

One has this little voice inside your head, it talks to you all the time. And I can hear yours today, it's telling you:

You are in fact 2nd best.
You are the Mr. Right now in this girls life NOT MR. RIGHT
You are being used.

You deserve, as we all do, someone who loves you with their whole heart. No matter how much you love this girl, she does not love you in the same way, never has and never will.

You need to put this player behind you for good and find that girl out there who is waiting and to whom you will be everything in the world.

Good Luck
Love Mom

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