Our expert says:
In a way you are both right, and both wrong. After any major threat to a relationship, such as his episode of cheating, ---
---it IS necessary to talk about it --- so long as you find ways, often with proper expert assistance, to talk about it productively, so you work through it rather than just endlessly reworking it, so that you are able to get through the issue and ind a new way of living together or a clear resolve to part, with both of you understanding and collaborating to make it work ;
and --- it is NOT necessary to just talk about it if you are merely spinning your wheels, like a car stuck in the mud, producing some friction but no forward movement.
Thus marriage counselling, to work together on finding the best achievable result for both of you. An if he refuses to take part in this, then seeing a counsellor yourself, to empower yourself, get yourself through this stick ing point, and make a wise decision for your own best future.
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