Our expert says:
It sounds as though you haven't yet received any therapeutic input for this trauma, or if you have, this didn't focus on it's impact on your sexual function/sexual identity. Given the traumatic early sexual experience, it would be reasonable that you learn to suppress any sexual feelings. This could be addressed through therapy with an appropriately qualified person - can I suggest that you call the SASHA Helpline (0860 100 262 - leave a message and our administrator WILL get back to you. Ask for clinical psychologists/counsellors specialising in sex therapy in Pretoria. I know several names but prefer not to give their details online. Best wishes for you and this work...
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