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Question
Posted by: At a loss | 2008/05/23

after divorce

I got seperated early last year and proceeded to get divorced, with much dissaproval from my mom and step dad (even though both have been divorced themselves). The problem was that they really adored my ex and struggled to move past the fact that I didn't. In fact, it didn't surprise me when they chose his side against mine and was there to support him.

Well now I have met someone else, who is absolutely fabulous, and want to introduce him to the family. My sisters are no problem whatsoever, and my mom has slowly come round. However, there seems to be a lot of animosity from my step dad's side. How do i go about helping them accept the situation and move past it?. My new boyfriend is well aware of all the complications, and needless to say is rather nervous of meeting them and being pre-judged, even though he has done nothing wrong and had no part in the divorce. The problem is that they want me to be with my ex, and not anyone else - and obviously that isn't going to happen. How do i make this easier on my new boyfriend and help ease the tension. We are planning to meet my parents next weekend. I met his parents a couple of months ago and they have been nothing but supportive and welcoming and I really want him to be welcomed into my family in a similar way

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Our expert says:
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All you can do is to talk calmly to your folks, and emphasize that while you understand that they like your ex, getting back together is never going to happen, so if they care about your happiness, you hope they will be fair and open to the new man in your life. Maybe there's a tactful way to remind them that they have both been through a similar experience themselves.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Britty | 2008/05/24

You accepted your mom marrying again and accepted your step dad into your life, surely he can do the same for you? I feel the same as Spooky in that your posting was very well put and you should read or repeat it to your step dad. But also be firm with your step dad when you speak to him and remind him that he is the only person who is against this new man in your life and he will feel very left out which you don't want. As you accepted your step dad into your life then he can surely repay that with the new man in yours. Good luck.

Reply to Britty
Posted by: Zola | 2008/05/23

Congratulations on meeting someone you adore and who also adores you after the divorce, a lot of people struggle wit that. It's a blessing from above and one day your dad will realise that it's about your happiness not him.

Reply to Zola
Posted by: Spooky | 2008/05/23

Print your this posting and send it to them.

Reply to Spooky

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