Our expert says:
WEell, you're right to a large extent. Affairs are not ways to become happy, and never a solution to an unhappy mariage ( why on earth not try marriage counselling first ? ) ; and affairs with colleagues are often even more fraught. And you have learned what a selfish worm this other guy is, and how much better off you are without him. You seem to have learned some important lessons, and working on the mariage now is the right way to go.
Thanks for reminding others, who may feel similarly tempted, of the pretty well inevitable consequences
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