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Question
Posted by: AA | 2007/05/23

Affair for 6 years

I am a married 45 years old. I have been married for 16 years. I have been having an affair for 5 years with a woman 19 years younger than me. I have not had sex wiith my wife for 2 years but have sex with my girlfriend approx twice a week for the five years.
I am very emotionally attached to my girlfriend. I am understandably having real problems seprating my feelings for both my wife and my girlfriend and i constantly have feeling of guilt relating to both parties.
I desperately need to somehow break the relationship i have with my girlfriend. I have tried many times but keep getting drawn back into it. I need to some how find a way to regain the relationship i had with my wife before i hurt her. PLEASE HELP

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Our expert says:
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See a personal counsellor to sort out your own conflicted feelings and plan for a more realistic future, then persuade your wife to join you in marriage counselling, to seek to sort things out between you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Gracie | 2007/05/24

Wow - after 5 long years of infidelity your conscience is bothering you!!!??? If it is your wife you choose to be with, you need to break all ties with the other woman. Surely after not having sex with your wife for 2 years she should know that you are sleeping with someone else!! You have hurt her so much already by having an affair so don't be surprised if she does not forgive and forget once it all comes to light. No person in their right mind could not think that there is something going on after not having a physical relationship for so long. You definitely need to speak to someone about this problem you have - your guilt is going to consume you. Does the girlfriend know about your wife or are you deceiving her too? Sorry if I sound harsh, but it kills me that people have affairs then have problems with their feelings of guilt!!!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: rose | 2007/05/23

i hope someone can give you good advise AA.

i would just like to say if i may, i think youre already hurting your wife whether she knows about the affair or not.

it's plain and simple what to do. break it off with the girlfriend. it's the right thing to do. little bit late now to think about guilt, hey?

please do the right thing. you also do realise that to regain your marriage you need to be honest, you will have to explain a few things to your wife. unfortunately..

all the best, hey. do it. do it now!

Reply to rose

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