Our expert says:
I sometimes wonder what is meant when you say "I don't know how to stop it" - is that genuinely a puzzle for you ? You're married and have made a committment to your husband. You know how to stop it, but maybe you don't really want to. You have allowed this situation to develop, both of you, disregarding the hurt this will cause your spouses who are apparently innocent parties here.
I enjoy eating chocolate, but I dotn't do it all day or every day. Enjoyment isn't a good idea for doing something you know is wrong and will hurt others.
Feelings are harder to stop than actions and behaviour. So stop meeting him at any time secretly or alone, and stop the kissing and private times. And commit yourself, perhaps with the aid of a marriage counsellor, to developing the potential in your own marriage. Let the "feelings" catch up with more virtuous behaviour
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