Our expert says:
Most people who have affairs do not do so by going to lunch, and do not fel at all depressed about it, even if you might think they ought to. Depression is generally either related to obviously miserable circumstances in life, or to biochemical problems. If properly diagnosed, it rarely if ever indicates that the person has something to hide.
It doesn't sound as though the pair of you handled your problems well, and counselling then would have been useful. Now it might help you both to become better informed about yourselves and perhaps better able to avoid such problems in future, but only if you both sincerely wanted to take part and wanted it to work.
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