Posted by: Thobil | 2007/05/31

advise please

my boyfriend of 3 years has been saying hurtful things lately.He is criticising me on almost everything,for example, I have very beautiful big eyes(even if i have to say so myself), yesterday he told me my eyes are too big, other examples are
1. "i dont think you can be able to run your own business"...this was when i told him i want to start my own business,

Sometimes i feel i dont need this negativity, he is not supportive at all. Am i being stupid?

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Our expert says:
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What on earth would be stupid about not wanting extreme negativity from someone who ought to be supportive ? His own plans for his own business failed --- he's not man enough to want to see your plans succeed, and is discouraging you. He;s especially worried that if you start tom invest in your own business, you would become independent of him, and, worse, you wouldnt be able to continue to support and sponsor him --- he ought to support himself and stop being so lazy, and stop looking for excuses.
Don't you deserve someone better than this ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Curio | 2007/06/01

Hi Thobil. Am in the same boat. I do everything around the house, i.t.o chores, pay my fair share of the bond and my share of the bills, however am not allowed to buys clothes as I wish regardless of the fact that I meet all my obligations and the fact that he pays about R800 for his child rom previous relationship. i do not have a child. He has explicitly said that in his own experience growing up, a female has to learn to 'give way' when we're having major disagreements, i don't agree with that. Being born male should not be a guarantee to have your way i.t.o disagreements. the fact that we disagree means that I feel quite strongly about my point of view. Am quite disillusioned as he is forever picking up negative stuff about me including chores not done to perfection regardless of the fact that I also work 8 to 5 and am not married to him, but simply co-habiting. Hayi kunzima, have tried leaving, it has not worked out coz I do love him, but he hurts me a lot. Al am saying is that you are not alone, most of our African men are just obsessed with being in control and power!

Reply to Curio
Posted by: Thobil | 2007/06/01

In the 3 yrs we have been together, he tried to have his own business but its stil not off the ground, it has always been my dream to start my own operation.During this time, i have been the one paying for bills and sponsoring him sometimes.

Our sex life is good.
Most of our fights are concerning me getting worried about sponsoring him, i want to persue my dreams now because i have put them on hold trying to help him.

Reply to Thobil
Posted by: Y2K | 2007/05/31

something is cooking. tell us the whole story.

have you invited him to be part of your business idea?

how's your sex life?

what other things do you fight about other than critisizing each other?

what do you say in all this?

Reply to Y2K

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