Our expert says:
A brilliant reply from Beyond Tired and Thee! Read it carefully.
And the important idea behind advice about "being there" is not to bully the person into responding in some way you expect from her, but trying to understand how she does choose to respond ; not giving her attentions or help she doesn't want or need, but being available to give what she does want and need. You're so right about honouring her need to be in control where she can, after an experience that is significantly about not being allowed to be in control.
And it's absolutely excellent that you will both be attending counselling.
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