Our expert says:
From your question, it is not clear if you and your girlfreind are already sexually active together with outercourse, mutual masturbation, oral sex, and/or anal sex, and that you are specifically asking about vaginal intercourse.
The experience of sexual intercourse for the first time can be romantic, exciting, sensual, fun, passionate, awkward, embarrassing, uncomfortable, disappointing, or any combination. To minimize the discomfort or pain and maximize the pleasure of first intercourse, both of you need to take the time to explore one another's bodies and fully arouse each other before penetration. You'll be on an upward learning curve as you find out what feels good or not to each of you.
Many women (and their partners) worry about discomfort or pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse, and not all of them have this experience. People have varying levels of tolerance for pain or discomfort. If a woman does have discomfort, she and her partner need to be sure that she is aroused, that she has lubrication, both her own or some extra. If after these ideas, she still feel either discomfort or pain, she can let you know, and you can stop doing what is causing her discomfort until you can more comfortably start again.
Another reason for physical discomfort is that you two are just beginning to learn how each of your bodies fit with one another's. The following tips might be fun to experiment with as you both prepare for your first intercourse:
Create a pleasure chest that includes water-based lube, condoms if you aren't using birth control and don't want to get pregnant at this time, the book The Joy of Sex for ideas about a variety of sexual positions, and other products for sex play, such as massage lotion or oil, lingerie, an erotic movie or book, and/or a vibrator.
Focus on touching, kissing, caressing each other in ways that increase arousal before penetration.
Take it slowly.
Talk with each other about what feels good and how you both like to be touched.
Add a dab of water-based lube on the vulva, the opening of the vagina, inside the condom (if he is wearing one) before it is unrolled, and outside on the penis or the condom before penetration. Reapply as often as necessary to ease any discomfort and increase pleasure.
Experiment with various positions.
If an erection goes away, remember it will most certainly come back.
It's not uncommon for the end of the experience to be less extraordinary than expected. Sometimes one or both partners do not orgasm. Other times, a man's erection might not last long or it might come and go, and a woman may be more lubricated at some moments than at others. Taking your time, talking clearly, focusing on how good you two feel, and learning/practicing are the best ways to allow the two of you to enjoy this newfound intimacy together. Even when unexpected events occur, a couple's first experience with intercourse can be meaningful, positive, exciting, pleasurable, and/or fulfilling for many couples. A sense of humour goes a long way, and you have a lifetime together to learn.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.