Posted by: vanessa | 2009/02/05

advice: should I strip

Hi... this is going to be wierd, but please don' t judge me...
I used to be a dancer at a well known strip club. I never used to be touched, only looked at, and I never did anything dodgy. I now have a perfectly normal, respecable job.My current boyfriend has been unemployed for 8 months, and isn' t too stressed about getting a job. Now, I am really struggling to support us both on my salary, and we are sinking deeper and deeper into debt. I' ve broached the topic of me dancing again part-time to tide us over, but he goes crazy at the thought of it. He knows and accepts hat I used to do it, but says that I am his to look at, not anyone else' s.
I cannot cope financially anymore, so I am tempted to do it in secret, just so we can survive. I know there are other ways to make money, but this way is quick, and easy, and it' s a lot of money. I' m just a little worried about keeping it a secret. Any advice?

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Our expert says:
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Isn't the main current problem that your bf apparently can't be othered to get a job ? Why should you support a lazy bum who can't be bothered to support himself, let alone you ? And why are you both slipping further into debt ? Is he spending your money on entertainment, drink, etc ? IF so --- why ? If he doesn't want you to resume dancing, he can entirely prevent it, by simply getting off his butt and getting ajob. Any legal job. I doubt you could resume dancing, in addition to your job, and sucessfully keep it secret from him. And when he finds out ? Tell him that he has a week in which to get his next job, even if he has to go out pole dancing, or you will stop supporting him altogether.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mandi | 2009/02/06

i say go for the dancing - BUT only to earn more money for YOURSELF.
Kick that useless piece of crap under his stingking hairy-|-and get on with your life.

You deserve better!

Reply to Mandi
Posted by: !! | 2009/02/06

Your boyfriend is an eeeeejit. You can do so much better. Don' t dance just tell him to duck.

Reply to !!
Posted by: vanessa | 2009/02/06

How' s this for a cheek... I organised that lazy bastard a job today, where I work, in a sales call centre. He calls me and craps me out because it' s beneath him!!! So dancing it is then... and is he has a problem with it, he can leave...

Reply to vanessa
Posted by: Kick his rear end | 2009/02/06

Hey babe, kick the slug in the rear end. What a creep !! How ever did you get involved with him ? Stripping is cool, no harm done there, but only if you want to earn for yourself and to hell with him. Give him the ultimatum, get a job, get a life or get the hell out. Just do it !! He' s the only one who can look at you, indeed !!

Reply to Kick his rear end
Posted by: vanessa | 2009/02/06

The main problem is my bf not having a job, and yes, he spends my money on drink and cigarettes even though I tell him we can' t afford it. He stays with his mom, and I' m even putting food in their cupboards, and am struggling to make ends meet for 2 households (I refuse to move in with him, and won' t let him move in with me until he gets a job). The thing is, if I decided to dance, I' d be able to do it during the week (be a showgirl at various clubs), as I only go through to him on weekends, so I might be able to keep it secret. On the other hand, if he finds out, it may not be a bad thing, it may push him to get a job...

Reply to vanessa
Posted by: take it off baby | 2009/02/05

go for it :)

Reply to take it off baby
Posted by: Lee | 2009/02/05

Tell your bf to get off his behind and get a job otherwise you will be forced to go back to part-time dancing, and you are not going to support him anymore.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: scorpio | 2009/02/05

At least you are thinking of ways to get out of debt. What is your bf doing?? I hope he realises what he has!!

Reply to scorpio
Posted by: Support | 2009/02/05

You should tell him that you wouldn' t have to even think of the idea if he would go find a job and earn some money instead of taking yours.
I am sorry but is he a man or what? Men go out and work hard for their money.
Give him the option of either finding a job or you having to go and earn extra to support him!!!

Reply to Support
Posted by: Carmen | 2009/02/05

dont do it!!! we are all in financial trouble at the moment, the entire country, there are other ways of getting out to debt. if you do it you might end up risking your relationship and that is not worth it. Besides your boyfriend isnt too keen on the idea.

Reply to Carmen

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