Posted by: sexless | 2007/07/23

advice pls - urgent

Hi everyone. I have this major issue with my b/f and I really don't know if there is hope for us. Please help. I am on anti-depressants and one of the side effects is that it decreases your libido. I do not think about sex at all and I have zero libido. This is affecting my b/f terribly. He says that if I know that sex is going to make him happy, then I must do it whether I feel like it or not. However, I don't agree. Its not the same as I don't feel like going out tonight and will just go because he wants to. Sex involves my body and if I don't want to, then I don't want to!! Although we get along really well, and he is the best bf I have had, I don't want to see him anymore because of the sex thing. Am I wrong??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As I KEEP on saying ( check the archives of this forum ) ALL antidepressants can produce sexual side-effects in SOME people, NONE of them do it in everyone, so discuss this with your shrink and see if another AD might suit you better.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: John | 2007/07/23

Hopefully, the medication you are on is not permanent. Once your condition improves hopefully your libido will reach its previous levels.

While you mend, your and your boyfriend could have a frank discussion about your conflicting needs. The lack of sex does not necessarily exclude sexual satisfaction by other means for your boyfriend - which excludes the use of your non-responsive body. Tell him that he can help himself, in a manner of speaking, until you get better and that you would appreciate his support and understanding during this time.

Of course, it would unreasonable to condemn him to a life of Standard 8 sex permanently so intimacy between you two would have to resume at some time - your recovery will signal that. If the open discussion does not help, perhaps you could encourage him to see a counsellor with you to resolve this issue.

Reply to John
Posted by: Comms Man | 2007/07/23

Physical intimacy is important part of any balanced relationship. What you feel if he said he never felt like being affectionate, never giving you a hug or telling you how he felt about you. We all need sexual intimacy, some more than others, their is always a compromise. but also approach it with the right loving attitude. nothing worse than sympathy sex. you make a man feel like he is getting charity and he will resent you. I hate to say but you do sound just a bit self centred.

Reply to Comms Man
Posted by: Spooky | 2007/07/23

What's the point of having a girl if there's is never going to be sex? - Could it perhaps not be analogues with marrying a woman who has no vagina?And let's face it - no man will ever do that!
There may be medication that can help you but that we'll leave to our MedicineMan.

Reply to Spooky
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/07/23

If a guy really loves you, then he will be happy no matter what! with or without sex!!

Reply to Echelle

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