Our expert says:
I wondr whether you are yet ready to commit to anyon else, and whether it wouldn't be wiser to get this sorted out, wih counselling / therapy before getting so involved.
Maybe, espcally if your past difficulties included abuse, you could find some free or low-cost help in a woman's group linked to groups like POWA which help and advise women with similar problems.
Don't let an unrealistic view of "pride" create problems. Its no shame to let him know you have unfinished emotional busines to attend to, and financial difficulties you want to sort out without loading all this onto him. Otherwise your behaviour will seem much more puzling and distressing to him.
Is there a good reason to assume that he will "judge you" based on whatever happened in the past ? He's old enough to have got beyond that, surely.
If you feel obliged to keep so much that is important to you and which has shaped you, asecret, no relationship can succeed with so many secrets all buttoned up
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