Our expert says:
Be wary of people who assume everyone else on earth must simply get with THEIR program, and that they never need to even recognize anyone else's program. Its reasonable for you to visit the FIL to give him good wishes, maybe even invite him for coffee, drinks, a meal, whatever, with you, and explain that she makes you and your daughter feel so unwelcome and uncomfortable when you visit, that though you are fond of him, you don't want to attend the planned dinner, but that this is not out of any form of disrespect for him.
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