Posted by: binky | 2008/09/04

advice please

hi. my husband and i are divorcing. he made me look like a completely crazy person in front of the entire world only to please a few people in his life. right now people think i am a pshychopath, suicidal, financially irresponsible and crazy - because of him. how does one come to terms with everything and move on. i spoke to a pyschiatrist who actually thinks that the problem lies with him. she believes that he has issues that he needs to deal with. the good thing is that she does know him also so he advice can be trusted. but i still have so many unanswered questions in my mind. how do i forget and move on. when your husband tells you he doesnt want to be with you anymore you feel so low, no self confidence and regardless of what you accomplish and i have over the past few months - you still feel worthless! what do i do?

i need to make a life for myself. but i cant let go of what has happened. do people that do these things to their loved ones ever realise what they are doing? can they actually look in the mirror and feel good or happy?

advice please

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Our users say:
Posted by: 10 months | 2008/09/04

Yesterda i also felt so depressed - it is already 10 months since our breakup and is till misses him a lot. I think of him every second of the day and night. It seems to me that it will never get better.

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Posted by: Zola | 2008/09/04

Hang in the gal. I have been through the same thing. My ex told such terrible lies about me to people, even to my sister. I could not belive it. He even told my sister that I was bad in bed. It is very hard, you just learn to live with it in the long run. Like in your case, my therapist saw right through his lies, so that was comforting a bit. Other people will also realise in time that he is telling lies about you to make himself the VICTIM and you the abusive devil.

I used to hate him so much, but I realised that I need to let go coz he is never going to change. If he wants to play this stupid game he can play it alone. He still says things e.g. not long ago he accused me of abusing the children. It hurts at the time when he says it but I don' t keep it in my heart long anymore....Good Luck. It took me 6 years.

Reply to Zola
Posted by: Phil | 2008/09/04

Binky I know that feeling, and it is normal. I doubt if in the long run they can completely be proud of themselves. And I also don' t understand how one can hurt your loved ones like that, but it has happened to me, and I know that the wheel of life will turn on her one day. Good luck, it does get better...

Reply to Phil
Posted by: oza | 2008/09/04

Hang in there it does get better takes time and you will be ok , lots of us have gone through the same thing, you can find a divorce support group normaly that will stand by you if you wish.

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