Posted by: Mixed Up | 2004/10/25

Advice, please...

I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 years.

We spoke about marriage and he said that he isn't ready now and might be when he is older.

I really love him and really don't want to loose him.

He is 26 and I am 28.

Am I wasting my time?

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Our expert says:
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From out here we can't tell for sure, but it sounds as if you two are looking for different things from this relationship, and not steering this ship together, on the same maps. 8 years is a long time for someone to still be unready for committment --- 8 years is a committment that has lasted longer than many marriages.
Talk with him. And don't let yourself be scared of what he might say --- he's not going to invent something, whatever he says will represent how he actually feels, so it's better out than in --- if you know how he feels, you can cope with it far better thasn if you're still guessing.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mixed Up | 2004/10/25

Thanks Anne, I know that I should talk to him, but I'm too scared he says, well move on then, as he isn't sure and doesn't want to feel pressured. I think I'm also impatient, you must be laughing now, as we have been together for so long, but I've only been feeling this way recently.

Reply to Mixed Up
Posted by: Annie | 2004/10/25

You two have been together a long time and your both quite young. I think you should tell him that you dont want to waste your precious time and hang around if he isnt wanting to marry you in the near future. Talk to him. Only you can find out if you are waisting your time.

Reply to Annie
Posted by: Mixed Up | 2004/10/25

Thank you GB, that does help and I'm glad to hear from a man, not that I wouldn't appreciate a females advice.

No, we hadn't spoken about marriage etc before about 3 months ago (we did break up in between the 8 years).

I also thought that he is too young, when I was his age, I didn't want to settle down yet.

Reply to Mixed Up
Posted by: Straycat | 2004/10/25

Did you ever talk about marriage before in your 8 year relationship?. Speaking from a guys point of view (not all guys, though...) 26-28,29 are confusing times.... Not sure if you want to settle down or hit the town...take it easy.. chase bulls in spain..... There could be definate reasons why he ses he is not ready now... Make him tell what they are.. So at least you know .. and then you can take it from there...


Reply to Straycat

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