Posted by: Miss G! | 2007/03/07

Advice on Pain Free anal??????????

I only came out( being gay) about a year ago and I have finally found that somone special, who will be my first! We have tried but it is too painfull... And i am getting frustrated. I am thinking of taking acid as it loosens and numbs pain. I am getting desperate....

Plz help, I really want to make my man happy...

Any advice on comfortable styles, gels, lubricants etc.

I really dont want to resort to drugs for this. It is a special moment to me...

Any response will be a appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Miss G and thanks for posting.

DON'T (I repeat, DO NOT) take acid or any other drug, and don't use the anaesthetic cream Spiderman refers to - pain during anal sex is indicative of a problem and drugs or anaesthetic creams simply mask this pain.

Instead, plenty of s l o w and g e n t l e anal foreplay should relax you. Gentle slow anal stimulation – touching, rimming, teasing, more touching, more rimming, more teasing, gentle slow fingering and lashings of lube – should help relax you. Ensure your confidence by being clean – we addressed douching before on the forum – and don’t be shy to touch, caress, lube, finger and explore your own anus during foreplay. Explore toys – a small butt plug or dildo, well lubricated and inserted very slowly, can encourage that inner sphincter muscle to cooperate. Always take your time – be slow and gentle until your arse literally asks for more. Never force it – at the slightest indication of pain or discomfort back off slightly until you’re more comfortable and then slowly proceed further. Alter the angle of penetration until it feels just right – we’re all unique and we need to find the right angle for comfortable penetration. This could imply the position you use or the relative height or angle you assume in relation to your partner’s thrusts.

Above all, take your time – there is absolutely no rush. If it doesn’t happen, be OK with that.

Please feel free to post again.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Donkey | 2007/03/08

Use poppers - easy!

Reply to Donkey
Posted by: Anon | 2007/03/08

I'm a girl, so I dunno if my opinion counts here. But for me, as I get turned on and stimulated sexually, my anus starts to relax. Also, being fingered gently in the beginning and more urgently as I get more and more turned on really opens me up. and then with some good lube it's a very, very rewarding orgasm.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Spiderman | 2007/03/08

Its called Local Anesthetics gel

Reply to Spiderman
Posted by: Miss G | 2007/03/08

Thanks Fellas,

Burt what is the name of the gel. My man is very gentle and has been very gentle. I am sure this will do the trick...

We have been waiting for so long, it will be the first time for the both of us gonna be something really special. I will tell you all how it goes... Not in detail but the romantic parts.

Reply to Miss G
Posted by: Anon | 2007/03/07

BoyBoy, I seriously like the bubbly touch.....

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Boyboy | 2007/03/07

Spidy, what anaesthetic gel...?

Reply to Boyboy
Posted by: Spiderman | 2007/03/07

Hi Miss G. I have spoken to the forum expert about it before.

I have the same problem. i have considered using a local anestatic (now is that speled right?...afrikaanse klonkie ekke in afrikaans its LOKALE VERDOWING) a gel that you apply in the inside and around your anus DO NOTE use a gel you get it in creams aswell and we all know creams and condoms ar'nt best of buddies. The expert also mensioned that if anal sex is painfull then it means your body is trying to tell you that there;s something wrong. So try the gel lots of lube is also a plus! the only danger with the gel i'm talking about is you will not be able to feel anything which means the guy might damage your anus and you will not be able to feel it.

Also buy a dildo / vibrator and play around with your self...go to your pharmacy get a latex glove and discover your anus.

Another problem that i sometimes hav with anal sex is it feels like i want to pee all the time...its because the guy pushes against your bladder- my docter says its best to make sure you empty your bladder before sex.

putting a pillow under your stomach while laying on your stomach also creates another angal.

mastrubating while getting penatrated also make your anus tens so prevent doing that.


PS: oh and there's a prostate glan as you stick your fingers up your arse and pushing towards your stomach which can be stumulated that leats to orgasm - (havnt found mine yet!...hehehehe guess i'm born without one LOL

Cheers bro!


Reply to Spiderman
Posted by: Boyboy | 2007/03/07

It definitely has lots to do with your MIND... if you are anxious and anticipating pain, you will probably not relax... get into the mood first... lots of foreplay, rimming, fingering etc until you are mentally and physically ready. I also find being on my back is probably most comfortable and please move around to find the best angle, depth etc... maybe place some pillows under the small of your back. You can also try using poppers as a relaxant/stimulant instead of anything illegal.
Also do not start thrusting immediately... rather you do the thrusting with your hips when you are ready.
I also find that a fine bottle of french bubbly beforehand can lead to great things :)

Reply to Boyboy

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