Posted by: ANS | 2008/12/10

Advice needed on anal sex pls!!

My husband want to try anal sex but I don' t. He keeps asking me everytime, so I' m thinking of doing it but I' m not sure yet.
Is it painfull?
Should I use something / product?
Is it " clean" ?
How does it feel?
Should he use a condom? (I' m not on the pill)

Any other advice pls!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The anal sphincter (the band of muscle at the opening of the anus) is strong, as it should be, and therefore pain may be experienced in attempting penetration. Some people, however, are able to achieve anal penetration and enjoy this form of sexual activity; so it is possible.

It is clear that you want to please your husband, but if you really don't like it, or can't relax sufficiently that it is so painful, I would suggest you talk to him about any concerns you have. Regarding cleanliness; well it is the anal canal through which faeces pass, so there are bacteria there and you would be wise to ask him to use a condom which can then be removed, or at least have him cleanse his penis, before vaginal penetration occurs. This is no risk of pregnancy, but there is the risk of damage if care is not taken (the lining of the intestine is thin and not self-lubricating) and bacterial infection if hygiene is not attended to.

If you would like to try, here are some tips...
- make sure you can trust your partner and that he will move only at the pace you are comfortable with (try different positions and see what works best for you), speak clearly and agree that he will stop when you tell him to (that he won't thrust when you're not ready for him to move!);
- use kegels exercises (tensing and relaxing the band of muscles that surround the openings to your urethra, vagina and anus) can assist you to know when those muscles are relaxed, concentrate on relaxing your anus;
- use PLENTY of lubricant (the anus is not self-lubricating and as it is thin and tear easily, lubricant is essential);
- try to get used to the feel first with smaller objects than a penis (e.g. finger) and gradually move on to seeing if you can relax with his penis inside...move slowly. If you use objects, make sure it's not sharp, cannot break, or the bottom of the object is flared so that it can't be lost inside the anus.

Learning to relax this sphincter can take time, so if you are keen to try this, try try again, but be patient with yourself...and if you don't ever feel comfortable with it, try other types of sexual activity. It may be that the idea of anal sex is in fact what is stimulating (to you or your partner), and so if this is the case, possibly try having him masturbate around your anus or clamp his penis between the cheeks of your bottom to provide the friction - whilst it's not quite anal sex, it may be exciting and a reasonable compromise if you struggle to relax enough to reduce pain.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: dcs | 2008/12/10

Hallo, me and my wife had try it a few years ago for the first time, and now she just love it...
i am willing to share some of our experiences with you, mail me dcs01 at webmail dot co dot za

Reply to dcs
Posted by: bzb | 2008/12/10

Where did your husband learned about anul sex?
In the back streets?
Tell him he must go back to where he learned it.

Reply to bzb
Posted by: Sg | 2008/12/10

Yes it will initially be sore but take it very slowly and use lotsa lubrication.You can fall pregnant if sperm comes in contact with the vagina so it is possible in this case.
Provided you have both showered/bathed it should not present a health problem.
One last thing though,if you really do not want to do it, your husband should not force it on you.Maybe just try it once and see how it goes.

Reply to Sg
Posted by: Amy | 2008/12/10

Just use lots of KY jelly and go slowly! (he must be gentle)

Reply to Amy

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