Posted by: Kirsten | 2008/09/04

Advice needed - Ex-boyfriend

Hi there
I am hoping you can help me. Aproximately 4 years ago, I had a relationship with a guy that was 4 years younger than myself. It was my first relationship and the bond we had was very strong.
We went out for a year and a half and the break up was nasty and broke us both.
We have had words off and on, but I have not heard from him in some time. I think its about 2 years now. I have recently received multiple missed calls from him and sms' s saying that he misses our friendship as well as our relationship. I still care about him, but I believe that we have both changed in this time and I have no don' t see a future with him. I am not in a relationship, and I have found it hard to move on myself. How do I tell him nicely that I am no longer interested, and this is just resurfacing all the hurt from the past. I am not sure what emotional state he is in at the moment. Perhaps its best to ignore it all together? He has mentioned suicide to me as well as being vendictive toward me. I am really not sure what to do? Please help. Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I agree that the emotional blackmail of a suicide threat is ominous and shouild not be encouraged. If he was wholly sincere, he would have (a) been more interested in YOU and your needs, and (b) would have tried to heal the relationship a bit more before revealing that he feels troubled, rather than setting up a situation which feels like coercion. Don't let him make you feel guilty for not flying to his side as a 2-legged Rescue Remedy

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Our users say:
Posted by: n | 2008/09/05

I was in the same position. Ignore him. he will hurt u all over again. Change your telephone number.

Reply to n
Posted by: JK | 2008/09/05

He' s mentioned suicide. That' s emotional blackmail. He wants you to come running back to him to " rescue"  him. Don' t let him do that to you.

Reply to JK
Posted by: Lin | 2008/09/05

Don' t get back in contact with him at all!
He' s abusing you emotionally by mentioning the suicide and the vendictaveness towards you.
Rather stay away and heed those warning lights!

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Garfield | 2008/09/05

I agree - ignore him!

Reply to Garfield
Posted by: Zexeon | 2008/09/04

Not a bad idea to ignore him.

Reply to Zexeon

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