Posted by: pumkin | 2007/05/22

advice needed

I have been involved with a partner who was diagnosed with bi polar disorder - we had been together for three years , it was not always easy and all that kept us going was my devotion to him. His erratic behaviour sometimes burnt me out but I vowed not to give up on him. I never was prepared for the next outburst orepisode. It finally reached the stage where he met new people in his life and without warning just had a turn in personality and rejected me completely, devastated but trying to be rational about it I need to know whether I should give up belivieng in a cure through love and devition or just walk away from it. your commments willbe appreciated.I was a support system to him when he was all alone in this worrld and now it seems even his family rejects me as if they are relieved that i am out of the picture.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Pumkin, a warm welcome to the forum and thanks for posting here. Your post is very 'ouch' - I hope you're doing OK under the circumstances?

There are two types of bipolar disorder, both of which form part of a cluster of mood disorders. The condition cannot be cured but it can certainly be controlled with medication. People with the condition who are compliant in terms of taking their medication are generally very functional and found in all walks of life and professions.

Thank you Labyrinth for answering and I agree with you. Pumkin, it is very possible that your bf's behaviour has little to do with his having a bipolar condition. Trust me here - your love and devotion won't change anything.

This may be a good time to make a fresh start and walk away from what sounds like a very uncomfortable space.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: labyrinth | 2007/05/23

hey pumkin

i'm also bipolar.. and i'm functioning 100% normal (lol ... what ever that might mean) under most circumstances... you say your bf has been diagnosed... was he put on meds (and if so... is he taking it)? gone for therapy (stuck with it?)? both of you can learn to life with it, if he takes responsibility for his condition and ensures that he maintains it! ps. there's no cure... this is for life... you can only manage it (it's like high blood pressure... lol!)

sweety he doesn't think he owes you anything, regardless of you being there for him. he is acting very selfishly... and that has nothing to do with being bipolar!! seems like he's using it as an excuse... and what did he tell his family!...

your happiness is important! love yourself! you can't force him to love you. it's his choice to deal with it (heal?!) ... you can only love him & help him seek professional help (if he wants it) - he has to get to that crossroads and make the decision. have you ever decided when you will walk away? when you will be more important than him? when you will love yourself more than you love him?

this is not easy (but it can get a lot easier!)... and i'm living with it... but talk to someone professional.. .this is only my opinion!

love & light to you!

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