Our expert says:
Sorry to hear about this, kathy --- it must be deeply disappointing and sad. It sounds as though what they are doing is indeed cruel and unking and ungrateful. But it may well be that the more you pursue them, the more they withdraw. Maybe ignoring them for a time may paradoxically make it easier for a leter rapprochement to occur.
I agree with anon that if you haven't had the chance face-to-face to tell them how you feel and how much you regret this situation, writing a letter to them all might be useful. But not pleading, and not too emotional --- just to calmly state the facts, and to leave the door open for later positive developments. THen concentrate on the good things you do have, and on developing new friends --- there are many divorced and widowed/ widowwered people in every agee-group who experience some similar difficulties in finding friends.
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