Our expert says:
OK, from your description, your boy has some developmental problems which should respond well to treatment, and which are NOT related to being adopted. He sounds well-adjusted to knowing he was adopted, and maybe doesn't need help dealing with that as such, unless he is showing some convincing signs of being concerned about that. Similar as regards the developmental problems - does all this worry him ? Have you simply calmly discussed these matters with him, to see what he feels about it ?
I fully understand that the psychiatrist you have seen may have been unhelpful and may not partticularly usefully understand these issues or how to help with them. Especially if, as you wisely observe, she seems too eager to blame any maters on the fact of adoption, which need not be causing any problems at all.
Apart from issues of recommending specific docs, unless by chance one knows someone, its really hard to know whether any particular shrink has experience in any defined field, let alone whether they're good at dealing with it. I wonder whether, if you called and spoke with some of the adoption agencies, social workers who help with and assist in the adoption process, and so on, ythey might be in a better position to know of particular docs in your area with successful eperience in these fields.
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