Posted by: Torn2bits | 2004/01/27

Adopted kids - rejects me after....

I adopted my wife's two kids while they where small. We had a child of our own afterwards. Our marriage lasted only 4 yrs. I moved out of town - battled with rejection etc. I kept in contact for a year with kids. Then one day they contacted me and said they want nothing to do with me. Now its been six months since I last heard from them. The one finished school the other still busy. They don't even want to talk to me, I don't understand what went wrong. We had a close relationship. Ex-wife and I had a argument just before this happened and I think something was said that brought the changes. I love them and know they are suffering financialy, they don't even want my financial support... Its killing me and the ex is play hardball. She doesn't want to tell me what was said. My little one is only 4yrs and doesn't know what is going on. She thinks her dad is just working away and will come back sometime. Is there anything more painful than kids turning their back on their parents.!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear torn,
What is worst, is, in any circumstances, one bitter parent and Ex deliberately turing the kids against his/her Ex, and teaching them hate. You should check with the Family Court / Maintenance Courts, about your rights of access. Your right to access to your own biological child is entirely clear, and if you legally adopted the other two, you ought to have acess to them, too. Don't rush to provide financial help for the adopted two if tey're reluctant about it --- wait until they recognize that you care about them and are not whatever sort of monster your ex has told them you are.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Pearl | 2004/01/27

Dear Torn2bits

I agree with J, your ex wife has no right to keep you child away from you. Maybe she is jealous that you have moved on with you life. I hope someday the other 2 kids realize that you love them, you seem like a caring person. But in the meantime seek legal help, I am sure you have rights as the father, don't let your ex wife keep you away from your child.

Reply to Pearl
Posted by: J | 2004/01/27

I cant say anything about the older kids but you have every right to see the 4 yr old. If your ex is prohibiting access you can seek advice at the maintenace court about your visitation rights.

Reply to J

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