Our expert says:
YOu could of course be disappointed if you allow your expectations to build up to be unreasonably high. So much depends on your mutual expectations, personalities, and the circumstances which led to the adoption. It's a pity you weren't told earlier so as to adjust to the idea more gradually. If you keep your hopes in check and more modest --- maybe hoping to find him an OK guy, perhaps tied up in his separate life and without much time to give to a new relationship with you --- that's be OK, though not great --- then there's room for whatever happens to turn out a bit better than that. Better is a bonus.
But insist that your family MUST STOP putting you under ANY pressure whatever to meet with him --- that is NONE of their business ! Why are they in such a hurry about this ? What's in it for them ? If you don't feel ready, don't do it yet. Maybe seing a counsellor for a couple of sessions would help you to sort through and clarify your emotions --- the decision about if and when to meet him must be taken by you in terms of your own best interests, and not to satisfy anyone else.
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