Posted by: South | 2009/03/03

Acute Shyness - Breasts

Dear Cybershrink

I am 43 and my breasts have gone south to put it bluntly. I am very attractive and well-groomed, but acutely shy of this. I do have a real problem so I cannot wear low-cut tops and a prob with bathers.

The thing is that I broke up with my long-term partner of 11 years recently (and our sex life had dwindled over the past 2 years) mostly due to my shyness.

I would love to meet someone new but the breast thing intimidates me. I feel like no man would be interested (they are) because I look good in clothes and the right undies, but all I can think of is having a relationship and the south problem.

I don' t have the money to have a breast lift, but am going to consult a surgeon. That will mean a lot of saving, difficult.

I don' t know - my ex expected bodily perfection and he has an addiction to pornography (cost him his first marriage) and his wife was almost perfect judging from her pictures.

I realise this has affected me, but seriously I am not up there with the perks so to speak.

Does this bother men that much, I guess so else. The thing is that it really, really bothers me and I long to wear sexier clothes (although I am conserative) plus I sweat under them perks and its not fun.

I can' t believe that all woman can afford a breast op, or all have perfect perks. What about the ones that have south perks and loving men with wonderful sex lives. Do I just have to find him or keep that surgeon' s appointment?


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I suspect mine went north. Seriously, I suspect the main problem isn't anythin anatomical, but a form o social anxiety and your own concerns about how you look, and Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT ) could potentially help a great deal. What may have damaged your recent relationship isn't your figure, but your shyness about it. I'm sure most men are little bothered, and at worst, less bothered than you are. Try CBT before surgery. And a sensible plastic surgeon would often ask for a psych assessment before operating --- if the main problem lies in your self-esteem, even after an op wioth excellent results, you might still feel awkward.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: South | 2009/03/04

Yes I do have a sense of humour. And no my ex is not perfect by any means but he wants perfection in a woman. That is half my problem. It would probably kill him to know this but I don' t think he is the best lover...

Yes, I am very attractive and men do go for me as I am a nice person and have a lovely sense of humour - my girlfriends and colleagues also tell me this. I am just shy naturally, so I guess I would feel better having my perks where they used to be i.e. do the surgery but the modesty will remain. You know men become distinguished with age, women just age. Nope he is 45 and I am 43. But I am looking for a good man and I intend to find him (I have someone in mind) who is also shy. We will see. The old cliche about mags and porn leading to the expectation of perfection is true unfortunately. i could really have my perks done but not at the expense of my health and plus I am afraid of surgery especially if it is not medical. But in case it may be as I have a neck and back prob. Nope, they are right where they should be!!!

We feel like you feel about impotence. If you can understand.


Reply to South
Posted by: Tattoo | 2009/03/04

I apologise for the somewhat inappropriate humour but it just seems to be right for the occasion.

The reason why tattoo artists refuse to tattoo a Springbok on the breast, is that sooner or later it will turn into a Giraffe ! Sorry, I hope this brings a smile to you lips, even briefly !

Reply to Tattoo
Posted by: itshowwearewired | 2009/03/03

when you look at what is attractive and what isnt, then you have to accept there are certain natural instincts and parts of the human body that are appealing if in the right place! but seeing as you contemplated having surgeory i guess you must understand this, no?

You said you were 43? How old is your partner? His he fit?
Does he have a flawless body?

I would understand your shyness if you were involved with a much younger fitter man.....

Reply to itshowwearewired
Posted by: To Bud | 2009/03/03

Hi Bud

Do you have an eligible brother, nephew?
Yes, I am looking for a loving and genuine guy. I am traumatised by my ex (who is far from perfect) but expects it hence he prefers cyber women. He is addicted to porn, I suspect because of his own insecurities and not the woman in his life. His ex tried to turn herself into a porn star, I on the other hand left him and said to him that I don' t believe you are good enough for me. Actually I am fortunately good looking (look about 30) (but a very nice person too inside) and i have the sense to realise that both you and Cybershrink are right, thats why I am glad I left him. I do believe I will find true love this time around, and funny enough looks means zilch to me. The only criteria is that I am tall 1.76 so a guy as tall as me would be great. My perks aren' t that bad, they ain' t perfect and they certainly are not where they were, but as you say a genuine guy looks for more. Thanks Bud you made me feel so good and I think your wife is lucky to have you, I guess you are lucky too hey!

Reply to To Bud
Posted by: Bud | 2009/03/03

You know for me and yeas I am a man it does not matter. My wife is overweight and her perks as you call it has gone south but you know what I love her to bits. I alway' s say to her if you want to do something about it then do it for yourself but for me you are perfect, sexy and man good enough to eat!!! If a man can not love you for who you are as the total package inside and out then he does not desurve you!!!!! You are to special to waist your time on BS like that. If you want to make a change do it for you not for some idiot!! Best of luck and even if you do go for a lift get a real mans man that will love you and support you for who you are and not just for your looks!!!!!

Reply to Bud
Posted by: South to Titties | 2009/03/03

Well to be honest, I expected some replies like the one you posted. I guess you have a top of the range car - need I say more?

Reply to South to Titties
Posted by: titties | 2009/03/03

Wow what a question, as a man being honest if they sag then well they aint that appealing..... do you perhaps have a nice ass?

Reply to titties

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