Our expert says:
Whilst in later life a 4 year gap is not considered big at all, there can be developmental differences that are quite large between 16 and 20, for example being in school or not, still legally under parental care and not to name just two. However, emotional maturity should also be considered and often girls mature earlier than boys, so it is not unusual for a 16 year old girl to be as emotionally mature as a 19/20 year old guy. However, this depends hugely on the individuals concerned.
Have you spoken to you daughter about your concerns? If not I would recommend that you speak about your worries and try and find a way of coming to an agreement that takes both of your feelings and concerns into account. Listen to your gut too, as you may want to see how it goes, but make it clear to your daughter that you have some misgivings about the age gap.
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