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Posted by: WORRIED SICK | 2007/08/16

ABUSIVE SELFD DESTRUCTIVE BROTHER IN LAW

I just got the most horrific phone call from my youngest sister informing me that my brother in law has hit my eldest sister two weeks ago for the first time and then the past weekend he took his fathers gun and went outside the house and wanted to shoot himself but only fired a shot and did not shoot himself. He is a policeman whose service gun has been taken away from him almost a year ago as that time he wanted to shoot her and the children. Things were going then good then bad again but this was now the worst. She is so scared of him as he has mentally abused her so badly already and now he has started physically as well. I am sitting in PE and she is up in JHB. I feel so terrible as there is almost nothing I can do. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Such problems are awfully common in our country, especially among policemen, it seems. And why was his father's gun accessable to him, and not lucked in a gun safe ? It is shocking if he was in such a crisis a year ago and then had his gun taken from him, that he was given it back and without proper follow-up to check that he remained well. She should call POWA an organization especially aimed at helping abused women to find the safest way to escape from such situations ; and should then also call whoever investigated and dealt with the problem a year ago, within the police, to get them to intervene again.

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Our users say:
Posted by: GGL | 2007/08/16

i wish i could help you more but i am not a shrink, and i can only say that thefirst thing I believe is that you should not focus on feeling helpless because you are far away. think of things you may do despite the distance. like call close family or friends who may live near your sister and request them to help your sister move herself and her children to a safer place. speak to your sister and console her and encourage her to move out if she is financially independant. also encourage ( maybe you can even source and set up for her over the telephone or internet) a meeting with a shrink for her and also her husband. also request her to speak with her husbands friends ( who are also policemen) to assist her so that her husbands gun license is taken away at least until a shrink thinks its ok for him to have one. i do hope that things work out for your sister.

GGL
worrylistener

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